Mr D Strikes Again

I realize it's been a while since Mr Destructo's feature, but I've had to ground myself from and continue to monitor my computer usage. Plus we've had sickness ravaging the household but it wasn't so bad because it got me out of going to church today and my awesome husband took all the kids with him, leaving me in peace.
But, back to the incorrigible Mr Destructo.
Besides painting his nails blue and breaking a bottle of soy sauce on the carpet he decided to take an adventure. While I spent 3 1/2 hours on his post and then continued to dwell on the computer (unshowered) doing meaningless nothings while my hair got greasier and taller, I let the kids ride their bikes outside.
I was thrilled when Lex came running in with, "Mr Destructo's gone! I don't see him anywhere!"
Yes, thrilled.
People, I had B.O.
So, after driving around in the van for almost an hour, with thoughts running through my head of what the police would say to me when I had to report a missing child and I was totally fitting the part (look-wise) of a white trash mother who neglects my children, we found him.
After checking the park and hearing from two kids who tried to go after him that he disappeared before they could chase in earnest, and recruiting two other mothers, I found him almost a mile away.
He'd gotten past the ponds near our house and was just abandoning his bike to go on a walking adventure, it looked like. As I was collecting him, some van with a lady I don't know pulled up behind me and was talking on her phone and watching my boy. I'm waiting for the police to come after me.
When I'm on the news, I'll be advertising my blog. I need more readers to justify being on the computer for 8 hours straight. You heard me. I don't do it every day. That's why I grounded myself. And said, Dr Spock be damned, and spanked Mr Destructo. And have told him almost every day since that he cannot ride his bike to see the ducks by himself. Even though he bypassed the ducks.
Maybe he didn't want them to see his blue nails.