Check It Out

I copied this off my friend's blog. it's an article that was in the Ogden Standard Examiner.

Oranges are great, but how do you scan them?

I’m in the grocery store. It’s late, I’m tired, and I need just a couple of things. So I scramble through the nearly empty store, grab the items I’m after, which include a sheet cake, and head to the checkout stand.
Strange. There’s no one there. Not a customer, and not a checker. Just me.
I wander up and down, peering around, wondering if it’s shoplifting if you lay some money on the counter and just walk out with your stuff.
Finally a checker emerges from somewhere and silently points at the self-checkout stand. Noticing my dismay, she speaks, “You can check yourself out there.” She then parks herself at the station near the self-checkout stands in a stance that clearly states, “If you want that stuff, you’re going to have to get it yourself.”
I am not a fan of do-it-yourself checking. I figure that the prices I pay for groceries ought to cover someone checking them out for me, bagging them, carrying them out to my car, and staying long enough to wash my car and give it a good waxing.
No waxing tonight. Not even checking.
So I glumly approach the scanit-yourself stand, arms loaded. I get one finger loose to punch the “Begin” button on the screen. A perfect female voice (just curious — why is it always female?) says, “Welcome” which I don’t believe because if I really was welcome, I wouldn’t be checking out my own stuff.
Anyway, “Welcome. If you have a Values Preferred Fresh card, scan it now.” The Voice is talking about a card that supposedly earns shoppers discounts on store merchandise, which has been marked up in anticipation of at least some shoppers using their card, and too bad for the rest of the folks who shop there.
In my scramble to find that card in my wallet, I set the sheet cake down on the scanning table. The Voice says, “Please remove all items from the scanner, and scan your Values Preferred Fresh card.” Balancing the cake, I use one hand and my teeth to extract the card from my wallet. I scan the card, and the Voice instructs, “Please scan your first item.” I scan it, then hear, “Place the item in the bag.” I mechanically follow this instruction for each item, until I get to the oranges. How do I scan an orange? I think I’m supposed to punch in some numbers, but what numbers? I look around for Miss Checker, but she’s abandoned her post and is now at a regular check-out stand, smiling and chatting with three young men while she checks and bags their cartload of groceries. I see.
I decide I don’t want the oranges any more. I look around for a place to put them that is not a scanning table. I find a new use for magazine display racks.
My final item is the sheet cake, which I scan. The Voice instructs, “Place the item in the bag.” I ignore that statement, since a sheet cake is not meant to be placed in a bag. Miss Voice gets testy with me. “Place the item in the bag,” she repeats, several times. I finally lean on the bagging counter hoping that might help. She responds, “Remove the item from the bag and scan it.” I ignore her and punch the “Finished” button. She counters, “Select method of payment.” I punch “Personal Check.” She instructs, “Please write check as shown.” I study the picture. Apparently someone named John Smith will pay for my groceries if I write my check “as shown.” Going with my gut feeling, I sign my own name. And then, since Miss Checker is still busy socializing, I lay my check on her station and leave.
I think of the mounds of ads I get from this store, and countless others. I have a suggestion. If you really want my patronage, then when I walk into your store, be there for me. Don’t run when you see me coming. Talk to me. Smile at me. Act like you’re glad I’m there. Help me find things. Check my stuff out for me when I’m ready to leave.
And don’t ever ask me to scan an orange.
D. Louise Brown

A Random Question

Why is it that Hyrum insists on starting out the day with a poopy diaper? Not just a regular poop either--a nasty one. He does it every day, I tell you.

I'd like a break--I still have holiday hangover.

Here are some random pictures:

The kids in the church foyer during the ward talent show.

Not only do we spend the a good deal of Sacrament Meeting in the foyer, we can't even be good during a party and have to be taken out.

Just for Amy and Katy:

This is from one of the earlier December storms we had--when can I move South?

We train our knights early (compliments of Austin).

Two boys, two mohawks from Dad--Sawyer's fell over--and one crazy bath time.

Visiting Santa at Grandpa Airmet's work Christmas party.

DCFS sure knows how to throw a kid-friendly party with a kid-friendly Santa. I think Sawyer was wondering how to get a grip on those glasses or a handful of that beard.

Feeling Scroogey

I think I've known for a long time that my favorite holiday is the 4th of July. It's sunny, it's warm, the days are long, and it's guaranteed that at least part of dinner will be made on the grill. Every one's gardens are starting to fill in and look really good, and every one's tans are coming along nicely. Plus, there's very little preparation involved: just make sure to pick up some beef, chips, lemonade, watermelon, ice cream, and fireworks. And you get to spend time with family without the hassle of buying presents and roasting a turkey. Oh, and did I mention you get to wear flip-flops?

I'll just return it...

I think that I am not alone in the mentality that when I shop, my purchases are never final. I almost always plan to return something--even at the grocery store. It's as though I know that as soon as I get home, I'll regret how much money I spent, or I'll regret buying that kosher salt because I'll never make my own pretzels, or perhaps the Neon food coloring is not such a bright idea, or I'll remember that I'm trying to lose baby weight and buying six different flavors of potato chips was a greasy idea. Some days I think I'd like to test LLBean's return policy and send back the coat I've been wearing for a month (they say you can return anything you're not happy with). I bet I'm not alone in having days when I'd like to send my children back. But I'll get to the point:

I know that in our Christmas newsletter I said that Hyrum is a very nice brother and loves Sawyer, but deep down there must be some sibling rivalry that only comes out on inspired occasions--

like when he wants to send Sawyer back to where he came from.

At least Lexie claims it was Hyrum that put the label on...

Clearly Sawyer was not happy about going through shipping--maybe he remembers the rigmarole of going through airport security.

The Joys of Christmas

Since lately the combined stresses of Christmas and children has left me with very little room to see the humor in what they're doing, I thought I'd post this little story about someone else's kids:

THE CHRISTMAS PAGEANT

My husband and I had been happily married (most of the time) for five years but hadn't been blessed with a baby. I decided to do some serious praying and promised God that if he would give us a child, I would be a perfect mother, love it with all my heart and raise it with His word as my guide.

God answered my prayers and blessed us with a son. The next year God blessed us with another son. The following year, He blessed us with yet another son. The year after that we were blessed with a daughter.

My husband thought we'd been blessed right into poverty. We now had four children, and the oldest was only four years old. I learned never to ask God for anything unless I meant it. As a minister once told me, 'If you pray for rain, make sure you carry an umbrella.'

I began reading a few verses of the Bible to the children each day as they lay in their cribs. I was off to a good start. God had entrusted me with four children and I didn't want to disappoint Him.

I tried to be patient the day the children smashed two dozen eggs on the kitchen floor searching for baby chicks.

I tried to be understanding... when they started a hotel for homeless frogs in the spare bedroom, although it took me nearly two hours to catch all twenty-three frogs.

When my daughter poured ketchup all over herself and rolled up in a blanket to see how it felt to be a hot dog, I tried to see the humor rather than the mess.

In spite of changing over twenty-five thousand diapers, never eating a hot meal and never sleeping for more than thirty minutes at a time, I still thank God daily for my children.

While I couldn't keep my promise to be a perfect mother - I didn't even come close... I did keep my promise to raise them in the Word of God.

I knew I was missing the mark just a little when I told my daughter we were going to church to worship God, and she wanted to bring a bar of soap along to 'wash up' Jesus, too.

Something was lost in the translation when I explained that God gave us everlasting life, and my son thought it was generous of God to give us his 'last wife.'

My proudest moment came during the children's Christmas pageant. My daughter was playing Mary, two of my sons were shepherds and my youngest son was a wise man.

This was their moment to shine.

My five-year-old shepherd had practiced his line, 'We found the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes.' But he was nervous and said, 'The baby was wrapped in wrinkled clothes.'

My four-year-old 'Mary' said, 'That's not 'wrinkled clothes,' silly. That's dirty, rotten clothes.' A wrestling match broke out between Mary and the shepherd and was stopped by an angel, who bent her halo and lost her left wing.

I slouched a little lower in my seat when Mary dropped the doll representing Baby Jesus, and it bounced down the aisle crying, 'Mama-mama.'

Mary grabbed the doll, wrapped it back up and held it tightly as the wise men arrived. My other son stepped forward wearing a bathrobe and a paper crown, knelt at the manger and announced, 'We are the three wise men, and we are bringing gifts of gold, common sense, and fur.

The congregation dissolved into laughter, and the pageant got a standing ovation.

'I've never enjoyed a Christmas program as much as this one,' laughed the pastor, wiping tears from his eyes. 'For the rest of my life, I'll never hear the Christmas story without thinking of gold, common sense and fur.'

‘My children are my pride and my joy and my greatest blessing,' I said as I dug through my purse for an aspirin.


What would life be like without our kids?

Here's from when Hyrum looked for chicks in a dozen eggs, and upon not finding any, remembered he likes his eggs scrambled.

Moms Rule

I got this in one of my forwarded emails and I think it's kind of funny. Oh, the innocence of children and the things they say...

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs," I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Momma, how do you know all this stuff. You are so smart.”
I was thinking quickly,
“All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mom Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mom.”
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
“Oh...I get it!” she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the dad.''
"Exactly," I replied back with a big smile on my face.

Pass the Tylenol

I saw this article and found it interesting, (and I do believe in administering Tylenol when I think it is necessary):


Children’s Illnesses: Is Medicine Always Necessary?

Karen Sokal-Gutierrez, M.D., M.P.H.Pediatrics
As parents, it's natural for us to want to relieve our children's symptoms when they are ill—the fever, earache, runny nose, cough, etc. But medications are often overused and can be hazardous to children when used improperly. What are some examples?
The overuse of antibiotics around the world has led to the development of 'resistant' bacteria—diseases that no longer respond to those antibiotics. Currently there is a worldwide campaign to use antibiotics only when necessary and as prescribed to treat diagnosed bacterial illnesses. In fact, viruses rather than bacteria cause most childhood illnesses (e.g., colds, flu, and most sore throats, coughs and ear infections). They get better on their own within three-five days, and antibiotics do not help. If the doctor explains your child's illness is likely caused by a virus, don't expect a prescription for antibiotics. If the doctor diagnoses a bacterial illness and prescribes antibiotics, complete the entire course of medicine as prescribed, even if your child starts feeling better in a couple of days.
Medical experts believe we shouldn't automatically treat every fever with medicine such as acetaminophen or ibuprofen. A fever is the body's natural response that actually helps fight off illnesses and is usually not harmful to a child if it is under 106 degrees F. If your child has a fever over 102, medication might make him more comfortable. But for low-grade fevers under 102 degrees, try to comfort your child in other ways than with medication: avoid overbundling and overheating, frequently offer sips of clear liquids or a popsicle, lay a cool compress on his forehead, stroke his head or tummy, sing to him, and tell him stories.
Many parents give their children cough and cold medications that contain antihistamines and decongestants, but studies show these generally do not help relieve children's symptoms or speed their recovery from colds. In addition, they can cause unwanted side effects: antihistamines can cause drowsiness; and decongestants can cause agitation, difficulty sleeping, and thickening of the mucus which can make it harder to clear.
Some parents give their children herbal medications. These medications have not been adequately tested for safety or effectiveness in children, and analyses have found widely varying amounts of the key ingredients. There have even been reports of children who had severe reactions to some preparations.
Why should we be cautious with medications? Every medication—even the safest—can have potentially dangerous side effects. Antibiotics can cause allergic reactions. An overdose of acetaminophen (Tylenol, Panadol, Tempra) can cause severe liver damage. Too often, children get poisoned when they get into medications that are not properly stored, or when adults give them the wrong dose.
If you automatically reach for medications to treat your child's fever, cough or cold, also think about this: we try to teach our children from the youngest age how to take care of themselves when they grow up. For example, what should they do when they experience minor discomforts? If we teach them to immediately reach for medicine, do they become teenagers who turn to cigarettes, alcohol and drugs when they face the typical challenges of adolescence, they have a disagreement with us, they do poorly on a test, or someone hurts their feelings? When your child is sick, think about it again and ask your doctor: is medicine necessary or are there safer ways to treat the illness?

We're getting dishes!

Lexie went with Dan to pick up a toy for Hyrum for Christmas. It's a bowling set and Dan told her not to tell Hyrum, but that she could tell me what they bought. So, later she came to me and said, "Guess what we got Hyrum for Christmas?"
"What?" I feigned surprise.
"A...bowl setting!"

This was a month ago but...it's Christmastime!

Our family pictures--kids not cooperating.

(We'll be using something else.)

Mom at the end of picture "taking."

Yes, I see dental work is needed--bleaching tray, anyone?

File anyone?

The tree is up! Lexie begged for it, because Mom didn't want to put it up because of Public Enemy #1 (pictured below) (is that bad to say on your blog?). Do not be bamboozled by those innocent, wild eyes. They're the eyes of a schemer.

Checking out the ornaments. Observe the festive kitchen table and chairs in the background. It's called, Aubrey didn't like the forest green ensemble, but only got the chairs spray painted before the weather soured.

Making diabolical plans to BRING the tree DOWN.

Diabolical plan #1: Blow out the lights.

Diabolical plan #2: Keep blowing.

(I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow these lights out!)

While Hyrum took a break, Alexis decided to chill in the laundry basket, using her blanket as a tent. The only thing the blanket can't ward off is little brothers.

I am such an awesome mom--we made Gingerbread Houses!

Okay, okay, they're from a kit. (Buy them for $5 after Christmas at Michael's).

Nevertheless, we had lots of fun making them.Lexie getting the first taste.

Diabolical plan #3: Forget the tree, I'm taking down the gingerbread house. (It will be practise

for destroying the real house.)

I'll just have a little taste...

Goodnight everyone!

I am pumped.

Everyone, I have made some obvious changes and I am ecstatic that I finally figured it out! Things are going to get interesting.

I promise more pictures are coming too.

Keep posted.

Take the Quiz here!

No Sweat

"I don't sweat the petty stuff; I also don't pet the sweaty stuff."

Why I'm thinking twice about having six kids!

I got this off of that really funny lady's blog--she was, of course, writing about her kids' antics:
I Can't Keep up With Them

I made chocolate chip cookies today.
Clay dumped sugar all over the counter.

Brooklyn got into Lexi's "dress-up" lipstick.
She proceeded to wash her hands off in the toilet.
The person who had used the toilet last, neglected to flush.

I did eight loads of laundry.
Clay dumped two of them on the floor by the back door.
My daughter proceeded to come in the house and step on the clean laundry.

Clay climbed up and grabbed his advent calendar off the top of the fridge and proceeded to eat chocolate. A lot of chocolate.
According to his calendar, it's now December 21st.

Clay got into Jackson's medication patches. He cut open the packet, peeled the backing off the patch and stuck it to a chair.
At least the chair won't be hyper today.

I got a call from the school nurse. She has my number on speed dial. She said that Lexi had a stomachache. I had my doubts about the validity of said stomachache, but decided to pick her up from school just in case she was really sick.
Before I got there, she threw up all over the nurse's office. At least I know she wasn't faking it.
Like clockwork, the call came in 10 minutes after I'd put Brooklyn down for her nap.

This morning, Clayton and Brooklyn ate an entire pack of Tic Tacs that they'd swiped from my purse.
Their breath is still minty fresh.

Clay and Brooklyn grabbed some graham crackers and ate them while sitting atop Lexi's bed.
I had just changed the sheets on her bed.
Her sheets are now crunchy.

This, my friends, is why no comments were approved until tonight when my husband got home from work. I was too afraid to turn my back on them!

This all happened while I was doing my regular Monday cleaning. I can't imagine what they would've gotten into had I been on the computer.


It's funny because it's not me.

Do you write better than a 5th grader?

Get a Cash Advance

I'll have everyone know, I looked up everyone whose blog URL I have. Very enlightening. I think Heather's is funny because she's the one of the smartest of us all. I don't think it's that accurate, because I didn't agree with some of the verdicts. But, go have fun.

A big thanks!

As I was picking out the caramelized pecans from my pie (you guessed it--it didn't turn out--my very first pie failure) I thought that I must give my spiel of what I'm thankful for.

Besides the obvious (i.e. my family, my warm home, a bed to sleep in, food to eat--sometimes too much--yada, yada, central air, indoor plumbing, Roto Rooter that can unclog the cell phone from our toilet), I am thankful for warm water and baking soda. When a cookie sheet is soaked in each long enough, it does eventually soften the burned on pie overspill from a ruined pecan pie and wash off so that I don't have to throw out my cookie sheet.

I'm thankful for cookie sheets. If I didn't have those, I'd be scrubbing said burnt matter from the bottom of my oven, since the self-cleaning feature won't work.

I'm thankful for self-cleaning ovens. When I did have a working one, it was awesome. I'm thankful that my burnt spillover didn't light on fire, like the time I caught our oven on fire, trying to soften the melted on plastic, so I could get it out.

On that note, I'm thankful for baking soda again. If your oven is on fire, you can throw in a whole box and it puts out the fire.

I'm thankful that when I caught the oven on fire and we put it out with baking soda, that we didn't have to use the fire extinguisher, because cleaning a burnt out oven is bad enough without fire extinguisher innards (what's in those anyway?) on top of it. And no, that oven was NOT self-cleaning--but eventually I got a new oven--about the time the burnt plastic smell wore off.

I'm thankful to know that I don't really need a fire extinguisher in my house, because I'm sure Lexie or Hyrum would figure out how to use it, like they figured out how to not open the door with a child guard thing on the doorknob, but to simply remove the doorknob cover instead.

I'm thankful for smart kids since it means they'll go to college and get good jobs and move out when they grow up.

So, be grateful for burnt pie.

P.S. I'm grateful I have some braincells left and didn't need the spellchecker to tell me how to spell "spiel".

Oh, I cannot wait--they'll change my Depends, too!

When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,
And bring so much happiness...just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.
Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,
And I'll bounce on the furniture...wearing my shoes.
I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they're on the phone and just out of reach,
I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.
Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,
I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry...I'll run...if I'm able!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click,
I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.
I'll take off my socks and throw one away,
And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,
I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
And say with a groan, "She's so sweet when she's sleeping!"

Stalagtite or Stalagmite?

I have a cold, and it makes me think of nose hairs. They ought to be trimmed when they are too long. Otherwise, when you blow your nose and there are remnants, they tend to form snotcicles. Snotcicles are no good. They cause undue embarrassment.

Will someone please inform me if I have a snotcicle?

Thank-you.

A...is for French!

Your Inner European is French!

Smart and sophisticated. You have the best of everything - at least, *you* think so.

Who's Your Inner European?

Furniture

I'm in the market for a new couch and some chairs.

Anyone know of any good places, besides RCWilley, that house neat-looking stuff that isn't pillow-backed?

I'm disgusting

I just realized that I have a disgusting double chin. I'm sure everyone else noticed that it was there and I don't know why I was so slow to realize it, but there it is...flabby, unflattering. I'm only 26 and my body looks like a 40-year-old's. For those that have never had children. Save up and adopt. Or better yet, foster. Then, when you're sick of them, they get rotated out for new ones, and you can always quit when you're tired of it.

Gasp--what did he say?!

Yesterday was eventful. While Lexie was at school, I let Hyrum color with chalk in the carport while I was inside getting ready. I put complete trust in a two-year-old. Sure enough, when I looked out later he was gone, I assumed to one of his usual haunts. I collected Sawyer and set out to search on foot, but there was no Hyrum. I informed my neighbor and immediately had her panicking. I got Sawyer in the van and then started driving around yelling out the window. (Let me mention, we have a few registered sex offenders living in our neighborhood, though I haven't heard of anything happening since we've lived here.) As I started to worry, twenty minutes into the search, I asked yet another neighbor outside if she'd seen him and she asked if I'd checked the park 1/4 a mile away from our house. I had not, so I drove by it. Sure enough there was a lone, barefoot child on a swing. My child. My too-smart-for-his-own-good Hyrum who had decided it was a nice day to go to the park and had carried his box of chalk there with no shoes on, to, I assume, introduce one form of entertainment to another. We'll be investing in an electric fence sometime because I cannot keep them imprisoned in the house all the time and I can't go outside all the time with them or nothing really will get done (beyond the nothing that already gets done).
And, the day before, Hyrum said the "S" word. He, uh, repeated after me, otherwise I wouldn't have recognized it in his garbled form of talking. That's two children I've now corrupted. And no, Dan doesn't know.

Some pictures--merely for your viewing pleasure.

This was voluntary. No one beats Grandpa.

Bedtime

Does anyone have any ideas about how one can motivate ones' self to go to bed at a decent hour? They better be good ones too--nothing about getting enough sleep to be a nice mom the next day--that one just doesn't work for me. :-) (By the way, my blogger clock is an hour behind the real time.)

Up Late

As I am sitting here at 12:30 AM, for the fourth night in a row and for no good reason--the fourth time in a row (hey--I'm making up for the last month of neglect!), I am pondering, and wondering, how do we get advertisements on our blogs? Don't we get paid for those? Do those only come if we get a certain number of hits or do we sign up for them? I want some money d*#^it! Remember--see below--I like expensive things? Substitute crossing guard is not paying off lately--no gigs. (By the way, for those seeking employment, Pottery Barn offers a 40% off employee discount for their own store and their affiliates.)

Now let's ponder on another great question--why can't I give up swearing? Do I think I'm cool? Funny? Entertaining? Apparently I do, even when it's not funny, but I also like to swear when I get really mad, and when I'm tired and have little control over my behavior.

I think I'll go to bed now.

Eight more things about Aubrey...

Heather tagged me, uh, almost two months ago I think, to tell eight things about me that no one knows. It took me a long time, but I think I came up with some. I'm such a way too honest blabber-mouth that I think I've left not much to the imagination, but here goes...

1. I think I suffer from diarrhea of the brain. I'm only in the beginning stages, but when I like to torture myself, I think of past incidents when I said really stupid things and still get really embarrassed. Sometimes I even cringe.

2. I, like Amy, am painfully shy--to the point that I think I am socially retarded. I'm either not confident enough, or get over-confident and embarrass myself. I even get so shy and uncomfortable sometimes, I even have a hard time talking, at least loudly. Believe me, it's true--ask me about a baby shower my ward in Ogden threw for me before Lex was born and my mom was late (she's my back fall). Try faking excitement over gifts you're not excited about when you can barely talk above a murmur. Ans most of you know how bad I am at faking anything, especially excitement if I'm not feeling it (anyone remember Sophomore year Prom when I branded myself?).

3. I cannot stand to hear people chew or drink. The saliva mixing, the slotching noise, the smacking (for those that have not--gasp--mastered chewing with their mouths closed!), the unnecessary crunching and swallowing and GULPING. It drives me nuts! (The only exceptions are babies and very small children--they're cute when the gulp.) Which leads me to...

4. Not ever enjoying the sound of liquids being poured into a glass. It plain sounds like pee going into a toilet. Enough said. I don't like the echoing of it filling up, I think, and it stems from a beer commercial that was on the radio all the time when I started listening to it all the time in my early teenager years (when, ha ha, Dan was on his mission--chew on that!). It irks me. If you pour a drink into a glass, you can make the liquid hit the side of the glass, and it isn't so bad.

5. I desperately wish I had gone on a mission, or at least travelled the world a little before getting married. It would have been nice to grow up a little before taking the plunge.

6. I'd like to live in Europe again as an adult so I can actually appreciate it. I want to live in lots of places and see lots of things over their--particularly England, France, Germany, Holland, Italy, Prague. Heck, I want to see it all!

7. I like expensive things--I just don't have very many of them. I know, it's worldly, but I really like them. Deep down, I'm still holding out for Pottery Barn and Ethan Allen furniture.

8. I wish that I would have been good enough to really make a living as an Interior Designer. I just didn't cut it.

9. A bonus one--believe it or not, potty-mouth Aubrey is trying to quit swearing. Good thing I never took up the bottle or cigarettes, or I'd have a really big problem!

Fall Leaves

Dan took this one of our house a few days before all the leaves dropped. He got it just in time--they all fell off a few days later--all in two days! Also observe our hot new mini-van that features built-in car seats and Stow 'N' Go. It's awesome--until November 16th, when our first payment will be due, then it's just pretty cool.
Finger-sucking leisure time on the leaf throne. Notice he has his minions working in the background--his sister and the neighbor girl. What a lady-killer. Don't let the feet get dirty.
We think Lexie got this shot--neither of us remember taking it. What a lucky moment of naughtiness.
So beautiful. You can hardly tell her hair didn't get fixed that morning. I think she's waiting for a cute boy to come along--particularly one of the ones she claims she'll marry. I set Sawyer-man down and he laid back in slow motion and the laid still for a little bit, until he realized he was in a huge pile of new "toys" that also doubled as "food". Disregard the bulging diaper--I like to get my money's worth.

Halloween was SWEET!

Here are pictures of those of us who dressed up. (Sawyer's a farmer and Hyrum's a lion without his head.) The most beautiful witch of them all!

The witch hat is yummy.
The finger-sucking witch, i.e. Wild Man.

Uh, he's really pushing his cars in that stroller.
Everyone congratulate me--I did all of this by myself. It was easy--I must have been doing something wrong the first time but Melissa and Kecia straightened me out. Too bad they didn't help me through stupid Psychology (I knew I should have copied Kecia's tests!)

By the way, Halloween was very fun--we went Trick-or-Treating at Dan's office, then Grandpa Airmet's office (he dressed up as Nacho Libre--in monk form, which did plenty of scaring on its own). Not having nearly enough candy, Dan took the kids for two hours while Sawyer and I passed out candy at home. We got quite a haul, and Dan and I will reap the benefits of having children at Halloween time for many weeks (I'd say months, but Dan is a candyaholic). The best thing about Halloween was--and here I prove my bad mom-ness--after the kids ate lots of candy all day, I didn't have them brush their teeth before bed! (It's as if I like taking them to the dentist for x-rays--that Lexie hates getting--and fillings!)

Lexie's Birthday!

Everyone Lexie is FIVE tomorrow! I can't believe it--I still remember the day she was born! I'm busy looking through her pictures to take to her preschool tomorrow to talk about her. If I were really smart and had figured out the picture thing by now, I'd have one up of her now. Maybe Dan will post a happy birthday one. Have a good day tomorrow--Lexie sure will!

I got tagged--here four things I'm sure you're dying to know:

4 things

4 jobs that I have had
1. Dairy Queen Pro Blizzard Maker
2. Inkley's lab "technician" (if we want to be fancy)
3. Northwest Research Data Capturer
4. Homemaker/Substitute Crossing Guard--Woo-hoo aren't I cool?

4 places that I have lived
1. Great Falls, Montana
2. Germany--I can't spell the two cities where we lived, but I can pronounce them
3. Riverview, Florida
4. Springfield, Viginia

4 favorite foods
1. french fries
2. pie--most kinds--I like the crust
3. chocolate
4. CHEESECAKE!!!!

4 favorite albums/songs
1. Joshua Tree (U2)
2. La Luna (Sarah Brightman)
3. Kurt Bestor's Christmas Albums
4. I'll Follow Him in Faith (We've sung it all year in Primary--so help me.)

4 places I'd rather be
1. Hawaii
2. England (I'll wait for summer though)
3. France
4. Italy

4 favorite movies
1. Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea (the latter one more--because they kiss)
2. North and South
3. Persuasion
4. While You Were Sleeping...and many more

4 favorite books
1. Persuasion--Jane Austen
2. Harry Potter series by JK Rowling
3. all the Anne books and lots of other LM Montgomery books
4. many of Georgette Heyer's books

4 people i tag
Melissa, Sherrie, Laurel, Mary Ann--but none of you have to do it if you don't want to

Firth Ousted

I have a new English movie obsession. It outshines Pride and Prejudice, with Colin Firth, big time. The movie is Elizabeth Gaskell's North and South. I highly recommend it. There are also other movies adapted from Elizabeth Gaskell books that are good, too--Wives and Daughters is my next favorite. I think I need to read the books. Now, run out and rent North and South quickly--before it's gone!

The Funny Lady

Everyone--you have to read this lady's blog. She'll make your day. She's the lady who wrote the really funny eBay description to sell Pokemon cards. She updates it almost daily, so check it often! http://mom2my6pack.blogspot.com/ Sorry, I don't know how to make it so you can click on it.

Drinking Water

Hyrum has taken toilet-drinking to a new level. Last night, rather than use his hands, he decided that one of Sawyer's stacking cups would work better--you get so much more water that way. Unfortunately, he moves too fast, or I'd have gotten a picture of it. He was even smart enough to close the lid behind him.

Who does Sawyer look like?

Who does Hyrum look like?

Who does Lexie look like?

Airducts

I forgot to ask--does anyone know an affordable--but good--air duct cleaning company. I'm convinced the foul smell I associate with our house is coming from the air ducts. When our house was a rental for most it's life and there were renters with dogs and renters with only boy children (they're rated the same for smell level), I'm convinced there are things festering in the air ducts.

Lastest Family Picture--on Easter

This is our latest family pic--I have lost weight and Sawyer--alas--is no longer that little. Yes, Lexie and Hyrum are still silly and messy.

The Shiners Have Arrived

I have finally given in to technology and now you can add us to your favorites. Now, if I can get pictures onto this thing, be very impressed. I think we are working on having 2,000 images that we have yet to print, but that's another story. I think I'll make the most of my lucrative (and so useful) degree from the very elite Weber State University and write until no one wants to read anything ever again (though I highly recommend Harry Potter for those who haven't bothered with him yet).

So, I finally got our car washed this week and yesterday Hyrum decided to paint it with mud--that was after he had already painted himself. (I barely saved the brand-new pajamas). I'd like to say he wasn't eating it too, but then I'd be lying. Come on, what's better than eating mud, sand, rocks, and sewer manure, or drinking from the toilet (sometimes when it hasn't been flushed), the gutter (potable water is way overrated), or the pot holes in our driveway after it rains? Hyrum knows how to enjoy eating and drinking. No wonder he's not hungry at "meal time". I think it's his newest goal to get the water out of the storm drain down on the corner. He makes daily trips to see if water's still in there. Maybe he thinks that I can get it out for him, since I fished out the toys he dropped down there. I think that Hyrum will be the means for us to find limitless uses of duct tape.

Yesterday was a sad day for little Sawyer, who was tongue-tied and I had to take him in to get it clipped, or well, lets just say, he wouldn't have been able to properly pronounce "tongue-tied". As always, he was very good about it and by the time we left the doctor's he was giving me smiles again. Needless to say, he's not so thrilled about going into his carseat--I think that he thinks we're going to the tongue-clipper's again.

The latest on Lexie is that she's the biggest helper ever--she tells me which direction Hyrum's running and what he's thrown into the garbage. Sometimes she makes things up like telling me today, when I asked where the Neosporin was, that Hyrum had thrown it in the garbage, we took it to the outside garbage, and the garbage man took it away. That's when I remembered I had put it in the diaper bag. You never know when you'll have to do Band-Aid surgery.

Now I'll attempt to post pictures for those who never come to see us and for those who think they have to be really cool and play Belle in the musical at Disney World. Talk about making your friends look bad. And boring.