So today at church while in the bathroom, I didn't lock the door all the way and got it opened on me. I hope that little boy wasn't scarred for life. It reminded me of the time I opened the stall door--yes accidentally--on myself in a very busy bathroom.
Yes, everyone, it is possible, and of course I did it.
Here's how:
Go to a stall where the door opens out.
Have a finicky lock that you think works on the first fiddling.
Don't do your business too quickly. This is crucial. You don't want to be in and out in a jiffy--you'll miss all the fun.
Think that someone is trying to get in, forget that the door swings out, and give it a good strong push to keep them at bay.
Have that plan of self-defense backfire in the worst way. Watch in horror as the door opens all the way--and quickly too.
Be glad you're not somehow accidentally in a men's room (don't put it past me--I have a long life to live).
Be slightly relieved you don't actually see the person going past, nor that you make eye contact with anyone in your ever-so-graceful state of exposure.
Then be very grateful to the lady who offers to hold the door shut for you.
Fiddle with the darn lock once it's back within your reach, until it actually clicks.
Except now I come to think of it, I'm not sure this door had a working lock--I think I was feeling lucky, hoping the door would stay in place--which it would have, if I hadn't jumped the gun.
I really have too much excitement going on in public bathrooms. Maybe I should spend less time in them.
And here's to two weeks to go, wishing it were two days. All the Braxton Hicks' are making me nutty.
So you can pause it if you want
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Tutorial on How to Embarrass Yourself with Minimal Effort
Posted by Aubrey at 10:31 PM
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11 comments:
LOL! I've found myself in the men's bathroom a couple of times. I think it was at Walmart...GROSS. Glenn rescued me.
I just laughed so hard i think I peed a little. Good thing I'm not in public!
Yowsers. I haven't had many horrible bathroom experiences except for a time that i won't write about here.
That was too funny! Maddie and I got a good laugh! Did I ever tell you about the time, while on vacation, I broke the handle off INSIDE the bathroom...thus locking me inside, while Maddie was crying her head off outside the bathroom. Lucky for us we were on vacation with my mom and dad AND that Maddie was old enough to know how to use the phone to call for help....very embarrassing....at least I wasn't naked! phewwwww!
We all have our embarrassing bathroom stories. Mine involves toilet paper sticking out of my waistband that looked like a tail. Humiliating. Mimi
LOL, sorry, but that is just hilarious and I could totally see you doing it too!
One time at girls camp I did this. I had to use the bathroom so bad that I forgot when the rope was up that meant the bathroom was in use. Well there was this kid in my ward that I REALLY liked, just so happens I walked in on his mom. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die , his mom yelled at me too!
Oh, mercy! That's funny. I'm hoping you'll be early, by the way. I had feet in the ribs for the last few weeks. Man, is that uncomfortable!
Oh, dear. This is not Thomas. I'm on Mr. Wicke's computer. Oops. Bet you were wondering why a man had feet in his ribs!
Laurel
HA! HA! HA!
I once thought that I had secured the lock on an airplane- a large flight to France, tons of people on the flight- and when the door was pulled open, I was stunned to say the least. It's one of those situations where you're glad you won't run into that person again!
You're killing me!! I can't believe that you only have two weeks left! That went quickly for me, but surely not so quickly (and still not so quickly) for you.
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