A Terrible, Horrible, No-Good Day

...is what I had yesterday.

As usual, Lolly was late for school, but this time it was mostly my fault and because of the faulty Target-brand diapers I'm testing that so far have not held up overnight for S-man, for one. single. night.

Things were okay until I picked up Mr D from preschool. His teacher told me he bit some kids and he can't bite or he can't come to preschool. In other words, he'll be kicked out. My kid. Ugh. I shouldn't be surprised, except that usually, Mr D can be pretty sweet and nice...and the biggest stinker of a 4-year-old in the US of A. So that new bit of information didn't stress me out or upset me at all. (Things are going to get confusing tomorrow when my scheduled post about our first day of school shows up--just so you know.)

Then there was the usual day at the park. Mr D not listening very well. A bunch of kids chucking sand around and Mr D getting most of the blame--even with his own head full of sand. Oh, and whilst toiling in said sand (can I possible say sand one more time?), Mr D decided to strip to the nothings and streak around the volleyball pit in circles with his tiny white bum. Upon my inquiry as to why the naked-ness, he responded, "I haf a be na-ed." I guess sometimes we all do.

Surviving the park of exhibitionism, I came home to find the nastiest, rudest comment ever on yesterday's post. Oh, it was the cream of the crop--supposedly made by someone who's been impersonating the Seriously, So Blessed chick. But it was not what I needed. Plus, everyone knew that post was a joke, right? Those are the ultimate worse, disgusting spots in my house--we really don't live in squalor, even if I don't mop or clean the bathrooms as frequently as I should.

Anyway, so then I thought I was so good to actually get the kids to bed at proper times (well before 9 o'clock, which is our sad usual) all by myself while the overused and abused Scoutmaster was doing his weekly duty, only to discover several hours later that I forgot to put a diaper on the we-don't-stay-dry-all-night-yet Mr Destructo. Yeah, he'd wet the bed.

So today, I'll be scrubbing out my fridge, washing sheets, folding the massive pile from last week's laundry and washing more clothes because Mr D was running around in the buff again this morning upon finding no undies in his drawer, and leaving the baking soda mess the Real Simple book recommends on the oven tonight to clean it tomorrow. And finally, I might recaulk the tub, but that will have to wait until the weekend when we can better risk skipping a shower, waiting for caulk to cure. And the reason we haven't done it sooner? I didn't want to go to all the trouble when we have plans--albeit indefinite--to replace the whole nasty tub surround.

Oh yeah, and to top things off yesterday? My bangs wouldn't work. (That was for you Mom--like the time I tried to play hooky in 5th grade because the same old bangs weren't cooperating. How come you didn't let me just stay home and go to the beauty parlor?) (kidding.)

Now all I need is another visit from Child Protective Services, compliments of one of my ever-so-pleasant neighbors.