Have you ever read the Junie B. Jones books by Barbara Park? They are hi-lar-ious. So funny, in fact, that I'm a little mad at that Barbara for coming up with the idea first and being so genius with it. Every time I try to think of writing a children's story, I hit a block. I just cannot figure out how to make it clever. For a whole book. I would be like that bad author on Elf writing really stupid things, leaving his publishers in a quandary as to why they're not making sales. Mine would be those books that come with kids meals at the fast-food places jilted by McDonald's who gets all the good movie toys, that end up in the garbage or at the thrift store.
Anyway.
My favorite parts of those books, you ask? Or don't ask? Is when Junie B. starts explaining something with, "Yeah, only here's the problem..." Like in the book, Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, she's running around the classroom and her teacher grabs her by her suspenders to stop her and Junie B. says, "Yeah, only here's the problem. If you pull off the s'penders--boom--the pants fall down."
Barbara must have a 6-year-old. Oh, wait! I have a 6-year-old. But no books supplying an income. However, Lex lately has not disappointed. She's been saying the most interesting blessings on our food.
Once it was, "Please bless that uncle Aaron will play with us every day that we go to Grandma's house."
And when her dad went caving with the Scouts, "Please bless that Dad won't go into a bear cave and get bitten by a bear."
Brothers. "Please bless that Mr Destructo will not take my toy while I'm saying the prayer." (That one might not be ver bedim. Sue me.)
And the other night I was trying to talk her into letting me blow dry her hair with the hair diffuser, and with her chin in her hands and lips pouting, she whined, "I don't want you to use the hair confuser."
Okay maybe she wasn't that funny, but it was good at the time.
So you can pause it if you want
Monday, February 9, 2009
Lexie B. Jones
Posted by Aubrey at 3:15 PM
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2 comments:
She sounds like a cutie. Be sure you write this stuff down and keep it. I did and the 30 something kids that said it years ago think it's hilarious.
oh I LOVE the Junie B. books too! When my kids were little, we'd read them at night--but it was going too slow for me. So, after they'd go to bed--I'd just read to the end :)!. I had to slightly edit stuff Junie would say (didn't want my kids calling me stupid!), but I LOVED the genius of the stories! The one about the little brother being a monkey, and the one about the dead fish she took to school were THE BEST!
Maybe you and I should work together on some kids' books--that way we can fill in for eachother when one of us is feeling especially, uh, stupid (didn't I just say I edited that word?!). I think between the two of us and our billion kids---we have a lot of material guaranteed to make other mom's REALLY appreciate their peace and quiet :)
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