So. We finally did the dirty earlier this year and bought a membership to Costco. I'm pretty sure they're in league with the devil--or the government--to break us financially. It has nothing to do with me and my finely-honed money-spending self-control. Ha. Today I went there and dropped a mere $200. I think I hold the record amongst my friends for spending $410 one day and still managing to come away without furniture. I blame it on the coupons. On that trip, it should have been a sign I was spending too much when I had to have my husband fetch a second cart and both were overflowing a little. And if the Rocker--who is almost always content and happy--is screaming before you get to the checkout, you know you've spent too much time at Costco. Or maybe he likes to get his cries out in bulk. I'm thinking my kids will hate me when they find that their inheritance is gone and they've been wearing it on their buttomauses.
Here's the scary thing: our house isn't so very large. The storage space is 90% less large. We will soon have bulk toilet paper/paper towel/Ziplock bag sculptures in the front yard. Because we must advertise to the world our Costco addiction. There's no hiding it in the back. Plus, Mr Destructo would climb on it to reach the sagging telephone lines whose connection is falling off the back roof that we cannot put any money into to fix because Costco has claimed it.
So far, my favorite thing sold in bulk at Costco? Trojans. And on the other side of the store, you'd probably find medicine cabinets big enough to hold them. Unless you have to hide them like we do. Can you picture that disaster? My kids would think I was one of those balloon-shape-making people holding out on them.
Last month I spent over $600 (see--you spend in bulk). I do not know how it fit in my storage closets (yeah--we don't have any storage rooms just taken-over linen closets) nor how I came away without a two-year supply of food for my whole family nor an entire new set of furniture for everyone. Then, on our trip to Albuquerque, my mom grounded me from following my cousins to Costco. What? We'd eaten an entire Costco-sized bag of Swedish fish, and two half bags of regular and peanut M & M's on the way down and had to replenish our supplies. The horrors of running out of necessities with Costco near at hand.
Now, reading through this post, I realize I've written "Costco" in bulk. Time to stop. Except for a challenge: anyone I know is is sort of poor like me but forgets it when they go to you-know-where and thinks that their ship has sailed in in bulk, I dare you to only spend $50 a trip for the next month. (That can be every week.) You can do it. Except maybe when the strawberries look good. And they have raspberries. And the blueberries look juicy. And you're sure you can eat that entire box of Spring Mix single-handedly in the next week. And they if they have Anne of Greene Gables or the new Emma on DVD you better grab those too before they're gone next time so maybe that shouldn't count on your $50. Oh, and buy yourself a bunch of flowers for being so good at not spending, and then go ahead and get some more Swedish Fish and both kinds of M & M's--they're only 10 bucks each.
Well done.
